Newspaper Columns

Tough questions on immigration

by | Mar 30, 2017 | Newspaper Columns | 0 comments

Questions, questions.  This kafuffle about building a wall along the Mexican border raises soooo many questions.

Before I ask them, let us avoid all the stuff about how wonderful immigrants are for America. No question that they are. And we are all descendent from immigrants. Even Native Americans are. Okay. Fine. I just want to look at these questions. The questions are for folks who hate the idea of the wall. Those who despise it, condemn it.

Would you mind if Carnival started one-way cruises from Guatemala?  To a beach near you?  They could haul thousands of Guatemalans a week to the Florida coastline. Or to Hilton Head. Drop the lifeboats. Motor them to the beach. Sail away.  Any problems with that? Martha’s Vineyard here we come?

Carnival Siesta could sail up the Mississippi. Drop its passengers off at some small town. Maybe Hannibal, Missouri.  Or Tupelo.  Tupelo’s a nice town. Adios, folks.  Chamber of Commerce is down the block. Taco Bell on the corner. Don’t worry about Immigration.  Tupelo has no Immigration. Is this okay with you?

How about if Delta flew a few planeloads into some dinky air strip near you every day?  Bye folks. There’s a diner down the road.  Would you mind this?

Do you like the idea of a convoy of Greyhounds rolling into your town every morning.  Depositing another swarm of folks from Ecuador?

No immigration.  No papers. No nuthin’. Get on board in Central America or Mexico. Land in Kokomo. Apply for food stamps in the morning.

Isn’t this the equivalent of what happens now? Countless folks have walked and swum their way into America. If you have no problem with this then you should not mind the Carnival deliveries. It is the same process plus comforts. The kiddies play in a pool instead of the Rio. More refreshments than in the desert. And nooooo snakes.

You think it is okay for folks to avoid border controls? How about you? Why don’t you try this at your next airport? Walk down the hallway away from customs and immigration. Climb over the little barriers. When the guys with the guns stop you you can tell them you don’t believe in borders. You are good with this?

How many illegals are enough? We have millions now. You have no problems with them? Well, how many more? And who decides when we’ve hit the limit you are comfy with? And if we ever hit your limit how do we enforce it? Do we send out a notice? A Tweet?

Suppose South America becomes an enormous war zone. Could happen. Suppose a hundred million refugees come raging north. You okay with them splashing across the Rio? Do you mind a new Desert Storm? This one being millions storming across your border?  Wait a minute. We have no border, do we? Not in your eyes.

You may think I am taunting you.  I truly am not. It is just that answers to these questions are tough to spit out.  And tough to swallow.

Let us see if you are racist.  What would you think if 20 million Brits snuck in via Canada?  How about 20 million Yeminis and Sudanese?  Iranians? Afghanis? Half a million Swazilanders? Don’t be ridiculous, Morgan. There are only one million Swazis. Well, there are 350,000 Surinamese in Holland and only 500,000 in Surinam.

Questions. Doesn’t Mexico have a wall already?  To keep people out at its southern border?  It doesn’t have a northern border. According to Mexican presidents it doesn’t. How dare you build a wall, they tell us. Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, California are as much ours as yours. The Baja today, Vermont tomorrow. Maple syrple on tacos.

Who objects to our wall?  Mexican presidents do. Okay. Who else? Border crossers do. Countries that love all the money illegals here send back home. They object to a wall. By the way, these Central American countries will nail your butt to a wall if they catch you sneaking in to their countries. But they object to us building a wall.  You are okay with this, I suppose?

I hope nobody from Carnival reads this.

       From Tom…as in Morgan.           

       Find Tom on Facebook. You can write to Tom at tomasinmorgan@yahoo.com.