Newspaper Columns

I predict… more predictions

by | Jan 3, 2020 | Newspaper Columns | 0 comments

The end is nigh. Whatever that means. We have copped it. We are screwed. An eminent scientist has written a book that proclaims “The battle to feed all of humanity is over.”

He insists that doom lays only a few years ahead. Millions are going to starve to death soon. That includes 65 million Americans. The starvation and turmoil will wipe out the UK in a decade or two. The planet simply cannot support humanity’s numbers. All will come a-crashing down on our heads within 15 years.

Why take him seriously? Well, he was proclaimed one of those “geniuses” by the big MacArthur Foundation. Various prestigious science outfits have given him prizes and awards. They know solid quality science when they see it.

I regret having to ruin your breakfast with this frightening news. Wait, wait. Don’t dump Drano in your coffee. It is possible you won’t be one of those 65 million Americans who starve to death.

You may have a choice. If there is anything we are rich in today it is choices. In this case, we can choose from many scenarios of doom.

The Guardian newspaper tells us climate change over the next 20 years will probably deliver global catastrophe. It will snuff out millions of lives in wars and national disasters.

This is not the Guardian’s opinion. No. It tapped a secret report that has been suppressed by U.S. defense chiefs. That report declares that major European cities will be sunk by rising seas. A Siberian climate will descend upon the UK.

The report reckons this old world will be whacked by nuclear war. And mega-droughts. And famine. And rioting everywhere. All because of the vicious and destructive changes our climate will inflict. Over the next 20 years.

So, you see, you may be blown away or perish in a riot before you get the chance to starve to death. I am just the Fairy of Sweet Dreams this morning.

I came across another scientific prediction. The Maldives will be gone within a decade or two. Swallowed up by rising oceans.  The UN reckons they will be overwhelmed within 20 years.

Meanwhile, the North Pole icecap will be gone in 5 to 7 years. Al Gore tells us so. He is backed up by Navy researchers. One says the cap will vanish in about 6 years. Another says 9 years.

One major study reckons the warming in the Arctic region will lead to catastrophe. It will release immense quantities of methane from thawing permafrost. This will do us in.

A major NASA scientist and big-time climate expert tells us the rising tides will wipe out much of New York City within 30 years. He has won various prestigious awards for the quality of his work on climate change. This scientist has won more prizes and awards than you will find Cheerios in your breakfast bowl.

I could deliver more gloomy predictions to you. Any number of royals have darkened the skies with their climate predictions. We will suffer calamity within 18 months. Or 10 years. Or 12 years.

So that is it, I guess. Calamity-ville awaits us. There is no way out for us. If only a few scientists had made these predictions we might feel comfy being skeptical. That is not the case. Hundreds of them have warned us.

I can offer you one tiny bit of consolation. A mere scrap of hope in this storm of gloom and despair. It is that all that you just read is old news. Really old news.

All these scientists made these predictions many years ago. And none of them came true within the timeframes they declared. None of them came close.

The MacArthur genius who reckoned 65 million Americans would starve? He shocked the world with his book in 1968. Scared a lot of people, made a lot of money.

The rest of these birds frightened us in the 90’s and early 2000’s. Al Gore’s produced his scariest book and film 14 years ago.

Today we have a new crop of scientists making dire predictions about climate change. We have a new crop of celebs beating drums of doom. Guys running for the White House warn us we have nearly run out of time. Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tells us to plan no re-unions further than 12 years out.

Choose whatever predictions you wish. The old or the new. Something tells me they might be equally accurate.

From Tom…as in Morgan.

Find Tom at tomasinmorgan.com. You can write to Tom at tomasinmorgan@yahoo.com.